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The #1 Secret To Changing Your Life

In Blog, Coaching, Corporate Strategy, Goals, Mental Toughness, Peak Performance, Personal Development, Self Help | on 02.12.19 | by | Comments ( 0 )

Last week I promised to let you in on a secret that will change your life if you really internalize it. 

See, we’ve talked about setting goals – standards – and then developing the discipline to do what you need to do to move toward your goals each and every day.

I imagine when you heard that you thought, “Well duh, Deb… Of course that’s what I need to do… But why can’t I seem to DO it?”

That’s what today’s post is all about. See, we all know WHAT we need to do to improve the results we are getting in any area of our lives, right?  We KNOW what we need to do to lose weight and get in shape… We KNOW what we need to do to earn more money or get the new job or attract that special someone… But when push comes to shove, we just don’t seem to DO what we KNOW, right?

There is a progression that we all move through as we go from a thought we think to the results we experience in our lives. I use the letters TFAR to describe it.

In our mind, we get to choose our thoughts.  We can choose to build big beautiful pictures of everything we want to do, be and have. Or, we can be like most people and let the media, our neighbors, our co-workers, tell us what to think. 

Now the thing is, those thoughts we think trigger feelings – and we can’t really control those feelings – they just kind of well up inside us, right? For instance, we can’t walk down the street thinking about something really sad and have a smile on our face, right? 

Now what most people don’t realize is that our feelings control our actions, not our thoughts.  So, let’s take dieting for example. How many of you have tried one of those?  Yeah… how’s that going for you?  We decide to go on a diet.  We buy a new diet book, join a new exercise program.  We’re excited so we do everything right that first week.  We eat right, avoid the junk, drink plenty of water.   We actually get up and exercise three times that week.  We get to the end of the week, hop up on the scale and a big smile comes across your face.   You’ve lost 3 pounds.  You did it!  So you KNOW it works. But then what happens?  We FEEL like celebrating.  We get an overwhelming urge for a piece of chocolate cake or FEEL like having a beer with the guys.  Monday morning rolls around and we FEEL like sleeping in instead of going to the gym. Well, being an effective team is no different. 

We have everything we need; we KNOW what to do to get better results, but we don’t always FEEL like doing those things. Same thing holds for your patients, right?  So, we act on our feelings.

And, I think we can all agree:  There’s only one thing in this world that will produce Results and that’s action.

So here’s what happens:  Thoughts cause feelings…  Feelings move us into action… And actions produce results.  Can we all agree on that? 

So what do we spend most of our time thinking about?  Our current results.  The economy is terrible.  I don’t have enough time.  I can’t keep up.  I need more help.   I can’t because…. We spend most of our time thinking about what we don’t want, complaining, blaming, justifying.

And if that’s all we’re thinking about then what do you think we’re we going to get more of?  The same old results, right?

So the first step to getting what you want is to change your thoughts so that new FEELINGS are brought up that will drive us to take new actions. 
And we have to do this over and over and over again because our habits and our programming are strong and they will take over when we let down our guard.

Think back to the diet example. We didn’t lose 3 lbs that first week because we found the magic bullet for dieting.  We lost 3 lbs because we were excited, motivated, emotionally involved, so we FELT like eating right and exercising.  But as time goes on and life gets in the way, we revert back to our old habits. 

Our programming takes over and we FEEL like having a burger and fries for lunch.  We FEEL like sleeping in.  We may get short term results, but ultimately we will revert back to our old habits.

Think of it this way.  Think about a thermostat in your home.  It’s set for 72 degrees. It’s a cold winter day and people are going in and out of the door. The temperature starts to fall.  But then what happens?  

The thermostat kicks on, turns on the heat and, slowly but surely the temperature returns to where it belongs.  And, it all happens automatically – we don’t have to do anything

Well, our beliefs, our programming, our logic; they are like a thermostat for our lives. 

So, where is your thermostat set… for income, for level of success, for weight?

See, if our thermostat is set for being overweight, then no diet in the world will ever yield long term results without this system.  That’s what causes the diet roller coaster.  We lose weight, we self-sabotage to get back to where BELONG, we lose more weight, and on and on it goes.  

That’s what my peak performance success system is all about- resetting the thermostat. So, If you’d like to take a deeper look into my process, I invite you to grab a FREE copy of my best-selling book, Unrealogical, at www.DebCheslowCoaching.com/freebook. Just tell me where to ship your copy!